Hokey Hayride Halloween Memories

Original t-shirt from the Allen Ranch

In October of 1983 I was 15 watching my favorite channel 23 KOKI, a local UHF station which is the Fox affiliate today.  A commercial aired for the Allen Ranch Halloween hayride called the Trail of Fear held nightly in October.  The Allen Ranch is south of Bixby or as those of us northeast of Tulsa might call it – way the hell out there.  The commercial was as cheesy and low budget as any local commercial.  It had still shots of the Halloween hayride and a band performing in the covered arena at the ranch all narrated by some guy in a deep “scary” voice.   I wanted to go!   My folks were kind enough to take me as I could not legally drive yet.  We went out there on a Thursday or Friday night, I think.  It was dark by the time we got there.  Jack o’ lanterns illuminated the darkness and a smell of wood smoke filled in the air. Men in cowboy hats and dusters presided over the hayride as tractors hauling wooden trailers carried the “thrill seekers” around the large ranch.  As the hayride began one of the cowboys would shoot off a gun.  I guess they were blanks.

The Trail of Fear had a western theme as the trail took us past a western ghost town façade.  A butcher in bloody smocks pretended to throw what appeared to be dead animal flesh at us.  A spider web made of rope fell from some trees slightly above our heads and we would be “chased” by cowboys on horseback shooting guns in the air.  It was a cheesy, country-western Halloween.  For me it was magic. After the ride I stopped by the arena where bands would play.  There were pictures of John Wayne and western scenes on the partial walls of the arena.   The Allen Ranch hosted cowboy cookouts during the summer.  I bought a Trail of Fear t-shirt which I have to this day. 

I went back several times over the years.  Sometimes I planned on going, but it never worked out.  But every time I went back it was as enjoyable as the first time.
In 1987 or 1989, I went alone one evening.  I remember being on the hayride and seeing the cowboys on horseback chasing towards us.  Behind them were trees that had already shed their leaves.  Everything was illuminated by the moon that shone between thin clouds.   As I saw this, I played the Fleetwood Mac song, “Tell Me Lies” in my head. It had been on the charts then.

My last time at the Trail was on Halloween night 1995.  I came with my best friend from high school days.  We had watched the Cleveland Indians and Atlanta Braves in the final game of the World Series.  I wanted Cleveland to win, Richard being a bit of a jerk, rooted for the Braves just to spite me.  Well, the Braves won.  That was a shame.   We then got in the car and headed down Memorial boulevard way the hell out there to Bixby to get in on the last ride of the Trail of Fear at the Allen Ranch.  Halloween night was always the final night.  We stood in line for almost two hours.  When we finally boarded the wooden trailer, we were ready to get on with it.  Along the hayride a man in a ski mask ran up behind us with a chainsaw blaring.  I shouted at him, “I RENOUCE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS!”  Richard and I laughed about that for the remainder of the ride.  I don’t even remember much of anything else; we thought that encounter was so funny.  

In 1996 my life changed a bit as I was selected for an internship with The Leadership Institute in Washington.  L.I. is an organization that trains young conservatives for careers in public policy.  I left for Washington in September and would stay in the Washington area for the next four years.  Not wanting to become a Washington swamp creature, I headed back home to Oklahoma in the Spring of 2001.  The following Halloween I was ready to go back to the Allen Ranch for some more fun, hokey, horror.   I hadn’t seen anything in the media about the hayride so out of curiosity I called the Allen Ranch and was told by a woman on the phone, “Oh, we don’t do that anymore.  Not after we got sued.”  Sued?  Why?  It turned out that the last night I was at the Allen Ranch in 1995 a woman named Carol Weaver claimed she got hurt while on the hayride.  Carol J. Weaver vs. The Allen Ranch CJ-1996-4697 was filed in Tulsa County about a year after the incident.  Carol was asking for six figures, and she was not just suing the ranch, but the family members who own it.  I’ve seen the file, it’s thick.  Lots of pleadings were stuck in that file in a case that lasted for several years.  I won’t go into detail about that case just in case Carol is still around and reads this in a bad mood.  But I will write this - and that kids are why we can’t have nice things.

The Allen Ranch is still around as a cattle ranch although it steers (pardon the pun) clear of public events.  There is a saddle shop on the property which is the only place the public can visit the ranch.  The magic of those hayrides never went away for me.  There are some things you experience in youth that stay a part of you like a mental heirloom.  The Allen Ranch Trail of Fear was such a memory that I will always cherish.  Thank you for reading this and letting me share it with you.

                                             

The White Guilt of Reverend Rob Lee

At four o'clock on a pleasant Saturday afternoon in January, I visited the beautiful St. John's Episcopal Church in midtown Tulsa to hear Rev. Robert W. Lee IV tell us why he is ashamed to be related to his great uncle Robert E. Lee. Because he's ashamed, why didn't he just stay at home in North Carolina?

His lecture on historical wrongs was delivered in a church which is part of a Church founded by a king who wanted to divorce his wife so that he could marry his mistress, whom he later executed. In so doing, this king seized Church properties and killed priests. I took many notes during his talk so you can know his views, and I shall tell you mine.

He talked about when he was growing up, he was proud of being being a descendant of Robert E. Lee. He had a Confederate battle flag in his room. He also had a religious inclination and decided he wanted to enter the ministry. Along the way, a black woman he knew told him his having a Confederate battle flag was not conducive to the Christian life. "I needed to change so that I could change others." He later became the pastor of a United Church of Christ church in North Carolina. It was after the 2017 events in Charlottesville, Virginia where a riot broke out between white nationalists (neo-Nazis) and ANTIFA (anti-Fascists, who are Communists or anarchists) over a statue of General Robert E. Lee, that Rev. Lee decided to speak out. He was given the opportunity to do so at the MTV (Music Television) awards while wearing his clerical garb. He used the event to denounce "white supremacy and a society built on white supremacy" symbolized by his great uncle. For his appearance on MTV, he was fired by his church, which was remarkable because the United Church of Christ is very liberal in its theological/political leanings. He continued his crusade by going on the televison show The View and later National Public Radio. "The Gospel calls me [because] of my name and my privilege." He compared himself to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nat Turner, the 19th century slave turned pastor in Virginia who led a four-days slave rebellion in Southampton County, Virginia in 1831, killing about 60 white men, women, and children. Rev. Lee did not elaborate about who Nat Turner was or what he did.

He said he's ashamed of Robert E. Lee because he chose to fight for slavery by fighting for the South. As for his legacy he said, "The South lost the war but won in the history books." He went on to say, for example, "Texas history books are inherently racist."

As for the 1921 race war in Tulsa, Rev. Lee did not hesitate to lecture, "It's the elephant in the room," saying Tulsans are shying away from what happened. Since he doesn't live in Tulsa, he really knows nothing about what is being done to address the events of 1921 in which white mobs, agitated by the local newspapers' reportage that a black man was accused of assaulting a white woman in an elevator, descended on the black neighborhood leveling several blocks of homes and businesses, killing many. The actual numbers are not known. "We have to seek atonement and amends," he said.

Atonement and amends were the themes of Rev. Lee's talk. White people are bad, and they need to get out their sackcloths and ashes.  He also said we needed to have "dialogue" about these things.

There were questions submitted in writing, some of which were read aloud by the Rev. Samuel Colley-Toothaker of St. John's, who said he didn't want to take questions from the floor due to time....Okay.

One question was about Colin Kapernick, the former San Fransciso 49ers football player who knelt during the singing of the national anthem. "You're telling him to stand is assimilation," said Rev. Lee. He went on to lament that black athletes labor for the benefit of white sports teams' owners.

One of the questions read aloud was would Rev. Lee name any of his sons Robert? He said no. "We value what we name." He said he doesn't value being related to Robert E. Lee.

He admitted that if he could have dinner with one historical figure, it would be his famous uncle, to whom he referred as "a man's man in the 19th century." Perhaps he would have a different prespective had they dined together?

A question came up about the Black Lives Matter movement. Did he believe this to be true or should it be "All Lives Matter?" He said as a Christian, all lives matter, but black people are so put upon by our racist society that they must take precedence.

All things considered, his talk was elitist and condescending. He was saying to those wealthy, white midtowners that they, and they alone, can improve the lives of black people. I saw three black people in the church that day. "To those of us with power and privilege," he said to the august gathering, "I look around and see opulence." He left us with the idea that black people can't do it on their own. They are weak victims of life in America who cannot help themselves and to suggest otherwise is cruel and racist.

After Rev. Lee's lecture in the church there was a reception in the hall next to the sanctuary. Rev. Lee met an older man who mentioned that General Lee had the total loyality of his soldiers. Rev. Lee admitted, "He did command respect, I'll tell you that."

Then I asked him a couple of questions. Because he mentioned being inspired by the women's march which, is an abortion march, I asked him his abortion position. He said, "I'm pro-choice; we shouldn't govern women's bodies." I asked him how he could have that position as a clergyman because science has indisputably established the baby in the womb is a human life. He told me he didn't think the abortion topic was germane to his talk and he didn't want to talk to me about that.

My second question concerned his position on statues and "white supremacy." I mentioned students at Tufts University in Massachusetts are trying to remove a statue of Thomas Jefferson for the same reasons as taking down Confederate statues i.e. slavery and "white supremacy." He said, "If Tufts sees it [Thomas Jefferson] as a symbol of white supremacy, then take it down." He then dismissed my argument saying he rejects the slippery slope argument even though he just admitted he would have the Jefferson statue removed. At this point, Rev. Lee was done with me and said he didn't want to talk to me anymore. So much for his call for dialogue.

Reverend Robert W. Lee IV is in my book a bad actor. He's kind of like Joel Osteen in that both are "reverends;" both are good talkers, and both use their positions and abilities to promote their private agendas. Osteen uses flowery inspriational "pep talks" to get money and Rob Lee uses guilt to get notoriety and power for his agenda. And both men do not promote the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

"I'm a Christian," he said many times.

Killing Me Softly With Islam

Milo Yiannopoulos, the British writer and critic of Islam who thrives on controversy (pronounced CON-Trev-esy in British) is coming to Tulsa!  At least he wants to speak here if he can.  The University of Tulsa, a private school, flat out said NO.  Tulsa Community College (TCC), a public institution, was then approached by Milo but they have set their own conditons.  According to Milo, TCC has set a list of conditions that are impossible to follow.  He told KRMG radio on April 11, 2019 that TCC demands Milo provide them a copy of his speech before the talk, not hire private security for the event, 400 seats in the auditorium could not be sold for the talk, TCC would allow Milo to speak on a Wednesday between 2 and 4 pm.  And TCC could cancel the event at any time prior to the event and keep all the money!  TCC was much more accomidating to a pro-Islamic talk given in November of 2015.  I attended that lecture on a Sunday afternoon.  Below is what I observed.


I heard he sang a good song 

I heard he had a style 

And so I came to see him

 to listen for a while 

- Roberta Flack, 

"Killing Me Softy with His Song," 

as modified by “with Islam” 

by Theodore King
  Sunday, November 15, the Islamic Society of Tulsa, along with the Jewish Federation of Tulsa, Boston Avenue United Methodist Church, Phillips Seminary in Bartlesville and other organizations, sponsored a two-hour event at Tulsa Community College's south Tulsa campus which they billed as an, “Educational Program” and titled: “Should we fear Islam?" Because the Islamic Society was one of the events sponsors' the answer to the question was predetermined. Imagine the Southern Baptist Convention sponsoring a talk titled: "Is Jesus the Messiah?" or Focus on the Family sponsoring one titled: "Is the Nuclear Family Good for Society?" Author and attorney Hannibal B. Johnson was the moderator for the event. He set a condescending tone for the event by quoting from the song “Carefully Taught” from Rodgers and Hammerstein's South Pacific:

You've got to be taught To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught From year to year,
It's got to be drummed In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.

Tulsa Metropolitan Ministry - Squatters on the Moral High Ground

Oklahoma State Representative
John Bennett of Sallisaw.

by Theodore J. King - 

On September 11, 2014, Tulsa Metropolitan Ministry (TMM) released a statement condemning State Representative John Bennett of Sallisaw for comments he made about the dangers, he perceives, of Islam in the United States.

On February 15, 2015, TMM promoted a candle light prayer vigil held at Boston Avenue United Methodist Church for three Muslim college students: Deah Barakat, Yusor Abu-Salha, and Razan Abu-Salha, who were shot to death by an atheist over a parking space in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

While it is reasonable for TMM to condemn the murder of anyone over a parking space, regardless of religion, TMM had no comment on the beheading of Colleen Hufford and the stabbing of Traci Johnson, employees of Vaughan Foods in Moore, Oklahoma. Alton Nolan, a recent convert to Islam who had renamed himself Jah'Keem Yisreal, on September 24, 2014, beheaded Colleen Hufford and stabbed Traci Johnson at the Vaughn Foods factory in Moore, Oklahoma. He was stopped from killing Johnson when the owner of the factory, a reserve Oklahoma County Deputy, shot Nolan/Yisreal, wounding him. TMM promoted and participated in a prayer vigil for the killings that occurred in North Carolina, a thousand miles from Tulsa, but made no mention of a killing by an Islamic fanatic, a little over a hundred miles away in Moore. In my meeting with Rev. Ray Hickman, TMM's executive director, on November 8, 2016, I asked him about this.

Counter Culture Hissy Fits

  I voted for Gary Johnson for President.  He was not my ideal candidate, but I think he was the most qualified having been a reasonably, successful two-term governor of New Mexico.  And anyone who can convince folks twice to let him live in a mansion in Santa Fe , rent free, must be pretty clever.   Since we have an electoral college system, and therefore 50 state elections, I could vote my conscience.   If you voted for Trump and don't want to read any further let me leave you with this – I'm not here for you to agree with everything I write.  I am a truth teller and therefore an equal opportunity offender.  Having written that, I am relieved Hillary will not be president and am prepared to support this new president even though I have misgivings about him.

  Today, I picked up the entertainment tabloid The Voice which took the place of Urban Tulsa after UT folded some years ago.  The Voice is a publication of Langdon Publishing who  publish Tulsa [Rich] People magazine.   It is a magazine for, by, and about the elite of Tulsa.  While it is called Tulsa People the Tulsa people who live east of Harvard, north of Admiral, and west of the Arkansas River are never seen in its pages.  The Voice, is a publication for, by, and about millennial snowflakes.